


The Incident

by Kellion330



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Milex - Fandom, TLSP, The Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: BoyxBoy, Gay, M/M, Trauma, bxb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27636220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kellion330/pseuds/Kellion330
Summary: After a traumatic event that destroys all the light that ever used to reflect out of his eyes it’s up to his friends to help and figure out what happened.He can no longer love. No longer play music. No longer sing. He can only sit in his room alone and blame the world.Miles sets out to figure out why Alex’s smile had vanished. Why he’s no longer the party animal he used to be. This story is told from his perspective with flashbacks and snippets of Alex’s.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Cigarettes and Alcohol

Alex had been the most outgoing. He was always the happiest in their friend group. He’d been the boy you could talk to about anything. He’d always have a smile on his face no matter what. He’d naturally got along with his friend group. Miles, Matt, Nick, and Jamie. They all had their own personalities. Miles tied with Alex were the most outgoing. Nick and Jamie were the jokesters of the group. Lastly Matt, he was like the dad. He made sure the boys didn’t go off the rails especially at parties. 

So now you know how Alex acted you can understand why no one knew why it happened. The switch. It was the Monday after one of our greatest parties at Matt’s. I’d went to Alex’s locker. “Hey Al wanna walk together to 5th period.” He didn’t say anything. “Al-?” I began to ask half laughing. “Fuck off!” He said a bit too loudly. He slammed his locker in my face. My mouth hung wide open. People were staring. “What’s...what’s up with ‘em?” Jamie asked coming over. “No clue.” I mumbled. I suspected it was just a him having a bad day but turns out he was being moody like that to everyone. Including the guys. No one had any idea what was wrong with him. That bad day turned into an entire week of constantly being told to leave him alone and to shut the fuck up. We all tried talking to him and failed. 

I sat on Matt’s settee sighing. “Any luck?” Jamie asked. “Nada.” I said quietly looking down. I played with my hands. “Why the fuck is he acting’ like this?” Nick asked. “No clue. He’s never been like this before. I’ve never seen Alex mad.” I added. He was my best friend and I was rather hurt he was shutting me out like this. No one had any clue. Alex was so being so fucking confusing. “Was it sum’ bird?” Jamie suggested. “Nah, he wouldn’t be actin’ like this if it were a gal’.” I added. “S’true.” Nick said. “Should we go to his mum?” Matt suggested. “Mafew’ no! We can figure this out on our own.” I said. “Yeah Matt, we know you’re worried but we shouldn’t go to ‘is parents y’know?” Jamie said. “Yeah yeah you’re right.” 

Despite all attempts Alex didn’t talk to us, if he did it was just a ‘fuck off’ and he’d get meaner if you didn’t leave. At one point the teacher yelled at him for saying it too loudly. He stayed away from us. I noticed he had bags under his eyes. He seemed tired. I just wanted to hug him. I had no idea what was going on with my best friend. After two weeks we went to his parents. Penny and David. 

“Oh...you’ve notice’ too?” His mum asked. She was a small woman about 5”4, she had grey hair, and a heart of gold. She’d always been like me second mum. She’d been nothing but nice to all of his. “I have no idea what’s going on with this boy? He said such fowl things to his father the other day!” She added. “Mrs. Turner we’re concerned, Alex has never acted like this before. We’ve got no idea what to do.” She nodded. “I don’t know boys. Why don’t you come inside and we can talk more. Don’t want yer mums worrying about a cold now do we?” We all huddled inside. She fixed us tea. “Has anything happened in the past few weeks ‘ere?” Matt asked her after sipping some tea. 

“No. It’s been same old same old.” She said nodding. “He’s never been like this ever.” Nick said. “Miles did he say anything to you? I mean you’re the closest out of the whole group with ‘em.” That’s because we had the same interests and we just clicked. Alex was like his other half. He couldn’t imagine what was making him like this. He’d always been the brightest and the most cheerful. “No.” He said quietly. “Nothin’ has ‘appened. I just want me best friend back.” 

No one had any clue why this was happening. Miles tried hard to think back. Alex was avoiding him at all costs. He wouldn’t even look at him, or anyone. He lashed out at teachers. It seemed worse on Miles’ end. This week along he’s gotten about 20 ‘fuck offs’ from Alex. He tried talking to him as best he could. He wanted the other boy to see he could trust him. The boy didn’t see it. He didn’t see it one bit. Alex would just spat out every mean word at him. At this point he didn’t even care, it hurt but he tried to think about it like he didn’t mean or like Alex was just projecting. It didn’t appear that way though but he remained positive. Throughout the entire week he tried to talk to him but it just didn’t work. Miles had no fucking clue what he’d done. 

He decided to just go to his dad’s for the weekend to clear things up and think better. He hoped Alex would be normal when he got back. After school he walked in the rain just thinking. What the fuck happened to make him like this? He missed his best friend. He didn’t know what he’d done to make Alex feel like this. He hoped it wasn’t something he’d said. Alex hadn’t even said much to him before this happened. It had just been usual conversation and that was it. So why was he acting like this? Did he just wanna try out being mean? No! Alex was the sweetest guy he knows. Sometimes he was too nice. That’s how they clicked honestly. Ever since year 7. Whatever was wrong with him Miles hoped when he got back from his dad’s house there would be answers. He didn’t know how much more of mean Alex he could take. 

He packed his bag. He filled it with three t-shirts, a record, boxers, shorts, two pairs of jeans, a hoodie, a cassette tape, and a book. He’d currently been reading Small island. It was about four people experiencing the aftermath of world war 2. Alex had actually recommended it, it was his copy. He was happy he’d still had it, maybe when he got back he could give it to him. It would give Miles an excuse to talk to Alex. A smile crept onto his face as he went downstairs. “All ready?” His mum asked. “Yes ma’am.” He said nodding. 

He grabbed an umbrella and his mom unlocked the door. He almost tripped from the dripping wet rain. They both hurried into the car. Miles sat in the back seat because of how long the drive was. 1 and a half hours. He got comfortable and took out the cassette tape. He’d specifically chosen the one Alex picked. Cigarettes and alcohol started playing. He chuckled and buried himself more into the seat. He was laying sprawled across. He slowly fell asleep after 2 or 3 songs. 

He woke up to his mom tapping his leg. He stirred awake. “C’mon get up we’re here.” He groaned and rubbed his eyes. He sat up. He saw the house. It was brown and white. He couldn’t see to well because of all the rain. “Here you go...” She said handing him £50. She gave him a lot. He was surprised. “You’re gonna be staying here till Wednesday. I hope that’s okay?” She added. “Oh uh yeah sure, can I ask why?” He said curiously as he put the money in his pocket. “I just...need time to fill out some papers and things. I know you’re not loud that loud but your guitar is a little distracting.” He nodded, he understood. “Oh...erm alright. I’ll see you on Wednesday.” He got out. He fished for his key in his jeans. He opened the door. His mum drove off. 

“Dad?!” He called out. “In ‘ere Miles!” He said back. Miles closed the door and locked it. He was sitting on the counter drinking a beer. “Mm ‘ere take one.” He said handing him a beer. He looked at his dad like he was crazy. “Just don’t tell yer mum. I mean c’mon Miles yer what 17, 18?” He said scratching his stubble. “Sorreh I look a bit ruff. I’ve had a long fokin’ week.” He said. Miles popped the cap to the beer. “Yer first drink?” His dad asked him. He snorted. “Definitely not. But don’t tell me mum.” That caused his dad to laugh. 

Miles enjoyed being over here. He had a guitar here and everything. His room was nice, just less...decorated. He turned the Tv on and began watching some sit-com. His dad’s house was fun. And he’d get to see one of his childhood friends. He planned on surprising her tomorrow. Miles was a little bored but the guys kept him entertained. They all called for maybe three hours. He’d secretly been hoping Alex would’ve joined but he didn’t. They didn’t really talk about him much during the call. Mostly about music and they just laughed at stupid things. 

Miles woke up a little exhausted. He groaned. It was so early but he had plans to go down to the bakery. So of course he hauled himself out of bed. He showered and got dressed. Afterwards he went downstairs. His dad had left 10 quid on the table for him. He pocketed it and went out. He knew this town like the back of his hand because...that’s where he grew up. In that same neighborhood too. It was just a different house. He walked enjoying the Liverpool air, it was cold but he didn’t mind, Miles grew up in the cold. He walked for 5 minutes. He was finally in town. He could practically smell some pastries from his favorite bakery. He walked in the small yellow shop. The bell dinged.

“Miles! We missed you.” Eva’s mum said. Eva’s parents owned the shop. She was Miles’ childhood best friend. They grew a little apart because of the distance. He’d even formed a band called The Little Flames with her. Eva was the lead singer. He missed his old band mates. “Eva! Miles is here!” She ran out. Her face was smeared with dough. “Miles Kane!” She yelled. She then hugged him tightly. He gasped for air but hugged her back. “I missed you!” She said. She then hit his shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town?” She asked tucking some hair behind her ear.

His breath was sharp. Eva was beautiful. He’d had a crush on her for years until he’d found out she was a lesbian. They had kissed once though a long time ago. Her hair was long and brown. He loved when she would put it up in a bun. Her uniform outlined her curves. He was still captivated by her but they remained only friends which was fine. He still found her extremely pretty.

“I wanted to surprise you!” He said smiling. She glared at him. “Well since you’re ‘ere there’s a party at Anderson’s lot tomorrow at 11.” She said. Her mum pretended not to hear anything which made him chuckle. “Anderson ey? I’ll ‘ave ta’ go.” He said. “Mom can I please go over Miles’ after me shift?!” She asked practically begging her. Her mum chuckled. “Of course. Tell Peter I said hi.” She said to Miles. “Will do! He’s always been fond of ya’ Mrs. Peterson.” Her mum blushed. “You stop it!” 

His dad had Eva’s mum had been high-school sweethearts. Eva’s mum had since been married. They’d gone to prom together but had a falling out. His dad had fallen in love with his mum but they fell out too. Miles often wondered why his dad never could keep a relationship for too long. Well at least he’s happy single, Miles could agree with him on that. 

“So what’ll it be?” Eva asked going behind the counter and tipping her hat. He chuckled. “Um...surprise me.” She winded up giving him two chocolate croissants. He ate at one of the booths as she served another costumer. After he ate he got up. “Evs come by later and spenna night?” He suggested. “Of course babe.” She said giggling. He shook his head. “I will be off.” He said. “Miles! Where are ya’ going?” She asked. “Uhhh in town...I’ll probably buy somethin’ for me mum. I know how much she misses it ‘ere.” 

“Oh okay...one more thing Mimi.” She said to him. “Yes?” He asked turning around. “Is that little fluffy haired boy wif’ you again?” She asked. He sighed. Alex. 

_A few months ago_

_“Miles! I’m so glad me mum finally agreed.” He said laughing. Miles looked over at him smiling. “God I can’t wait to see where ya’ grew up!” Miles was overly joyed. He couldn’t wait to show Alex everything. By the time they arrived both the boys were knocked out. Miles’ leg was over Alex’s lap. “Boys we’re here.” Alex bolted awake. “Miles!” He said shaking his leg. “Yes yes...” He said quietly groaning. He got up. “Yer hair!” He said to Alex. Alex’s hair looked super fluffy. He was tempted to reach out and touch it._

_They both got out the car. He opened it with his key. “Dad ‘m here!” He called out closing the door behind him and Alex. “There ya’ are.” His dad said coming downstairs. He was dressed in slacks and a button down. Miles guessed he’d just gotten off work. “Hi. I’m A-Alex. It’s great to meet you Mr. Kane.” He said slightly stuttering. My dad could tell he was nervous. Miles and his dad both laughed. Alex’s face turned red._

_“Please call me Peter.” He said. “C’mon Alex let’s go upstairs and put our bags down.” They were staying for a week. They both went upstairs. Miles closed the door behind them. “That was so bloody embarrassing.” Alex cried out. “It’s fine!” He said laughing at the older boy. “My dad doesn’t care love.” Alex buried his face into a pile of pillows. He shifted his leg so it went up. “Me want to sleep Mi.” He said tiredly. He loved Alex’s sleepy voice._

_Miles’ eyes somehow made their way to Alex’s bum. The way he was angled it was hard not to look. His athletic pants were very tight. “Stop staring at me arse!” He said catching Miles. “I was not!” He said lying. “Yes you were is okay. I would too.” He added smirking. “Shut up.” He said hitting Alex with a pillow. “Now leave me alone so I can sleep.” He said closing his eyes. Miles’ eyes went back to Alex’s arse on accident. “I can feel ya’ staring!” He said laughing._

_“Bloody hell!” Miles got up chuckling. He went into the bathroom and began putting some stuff away. When he returned he found Alex fast asleep. He sat next to him and turned the tele on._

_By the time Alex woke up it was dinner time. “Alex c’mon! Don’t ‘anna be late.” He said shaking him. Alex groaned and buried his face further into the bed. He pinched Alex causing him to shriek. “Off of me body Kane!” He said giggling. “C’mon wake up.” Alex’s eyes opened. He rubbed them. “C’mon ya’ big baby.” He said grabbing his arm. Alex practically screamed as he hauled him off the bed and onto the floor. They were both laughing so hard they heard a knock._

_It was his dad. Miles had tears in his eyes. “Hi Mr. Kane- I-I mean Peter.” Alex said getting up. “Shall we eat?” Miles suggested. His dad looked very confused. “I’m not even gonna question the two of ya’. But Alex y’alright?” His dad asked. “Perfectly fine.” The two went downstairs. They’d just gotten regular pizza. The remainder of the night they played video games and just talked._

_The next day they’d gone into town. “Oh a-and this store is where I bought me first bike.” He said to Alex. “Miles god I love ya’.” He said. Miles smiled at him. “Love ya’ too Aly.” He said laughing. Alex gave him a dirty look. He hated that nickname. He giggled and ruffled the older boy’s hair. Alex shoved him lightly in response. After showing him around he took him to Eva’s bakery._

_“Miles great to see ya’!” She called out. She ran from behind the counter and hugged him tightly. “Oh and who’s this?” Eva asked as they came in. “Me friend from Sheffield. His name’s Alex.” He said to her. “He’s quite cute.” She said laughing. Alex’s face went red. “W-Wot?” He asked confused. “Just messin’ wif’ ya. I’m Miles’ friend Eva.” She said shaking his hand. “This is me mum’s bakery.”_

_They ate their pastries and walked to the record store. Alex had been very excited to go. He hadn’t went in awhile. They both listened to some of their favorite tunes and decided to buy an album from a band Alex had suggested. He’d never forget this day. He’d gotten to show his best friend where he grew up and they had a lot of fun._

Miles winded up spending some money on a record, The Smiths. He knew his mum would like it. He couldn’t help but feel a little sad thinking back about Alex. What was wrong with him? Did Miles do something he didn’t like? Miles hadn’t done anything to deserve the harsh words he’d gotten from Alex. One thing was for sure, he needed to figure out why his best friend was so angry, and quick. He was afraid he’d fall into what most called a friendship type heart break. He was having huge Alex withdrawals.


	2. Suki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I hope you enjoy! Please comment lol.

Miles left his dad’s house slightly sad. He hoped his mum couldn’t tell. He’d missed being there, he only went every once and awhile. He missed all his friends from Liverpool. He sighed. “Miles what’s wrong? You’ve been looking down ever since you got back.” She said putting a hand on his back. “I...I just wish I could go to dad’s more is all.” I said quietly. “Oh babe...well I can try y’know-” He burst into tears. “Miles baby.” She said hugging him. 

“I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.” He said covering his face as he sobbed. “I just...everyone else has two parents who y’know like live together- a-and I know you’re both happier I dunno I’m just jealous.” He said no longer crying. She didn’t say anything. She rubbed his back. “I’m sorry babe it just never worked out.” She said finally. “I know mum. And I’m not asking for anything I just...sometimes I get sad is all.” He said. They laid there for a moment. She got up. “I’m gonna make dinner and we can watch a movie okay?” She suggested. He nodded.

Once she left he grabbed his phone. He asked them about Alex. There’d been no contact. He groaned. What the fuck happened?! Why was he acting like this? He needed answers, answers no one had. He couldn’t wait for Monday to come. He spent most of the time just catching up on homework and thinking of all the things that could’ve gone wrong. He wasn’t too sure why he couldn’t focus. It was probably because Alex wasn’t here. They’ve done their homework together since as long as he could remember. 

On Monday he saw Alex from across the sea of lockers. He was standing there with his head slightly down. He walked over to him. “Alex?” He said. The boy’s head jerked over towards him. He looked so miserable. His face had more acne than usual. His eyes had massive bags. His cheeks looked sunken. The sight made him wanna cry. “Fuck off.” He mumbled. “Alex can we just-” He began to say practically pleading the boy. “No! Fuck off!” He said louder. “What did I do?! At least tell me that!” He cried out. Alex let out a breath. He was angry. “You’re such a fokin’ idiot. Not everythin’ is about you!” He then slammed his locker and left. 

What the fuck did that mean? Not everything was about me...? So Alex was upset, but not at him? He just missed his best friend was that so bad? He would kill to know what Alex was thinking about and why he was so angry. He hated seeing the boy like this. He met up with the guys. “No luck wif’ Al.” He said sadly. “Yeah I tried earlier too.” Jamie added. I sighed. “I just want my best friend back, I mean what even happened?” I asked. “We have no clue it’s just like a light switch was shut off. Alex has never ever had a mean bone in his body.” Matt said. I then realized. “God something really bad must’ve happened to him then...” Miles said quietly. 

“Yeah and there’s nothin’ we can do.” Nick said. “You lot are seriously given up?” He asked angry. How could they do that?! Alex was their friend! “Yes Mi...it’s been over ta’ month. It’s about time. He doesn’t want anythin’ to do wif’ us.” Matt said. “He’s clearly just in pain!” He blurted out. “Miles we understand you’re hurt in’ you can keep trying to talk ta’ him. It’s just ruinin’ me mood and everyone else’s at this point.” Jamie said. He couldn’t believe this. 

He was angry. He knew they had a right to not wanna talk to Alex anymore but still! That was his best friend. He couldn’t just let their friendship go down the drain. He stopped trying to talk to Alex as much, it never worked. Instead he observed him. He didn’t find much. The kid was awfully quiet and didn’t sit next to anyone anymore. What happened to his best friend? When he looked into Alex’s eyes he no longer saw that glimmer of happiness and hope. He just saw sadness and pain. Why was he in so much pain? No one knew, not even his parents. 

Miles was writing down notes about Alex. He’s collected a journal. He needed to figure what happened out, and he needed to do it quick. Alex just didn’t give him any signs. “Hey Miles...you wanna hangout?” Suki asked. They’d become friends two weeks back. She was short blonde hair. She was a pretty and very funny. He enjoyed her company quite a lot. “Uh yeah sure.” He mumbled closing his notebook. “What’s that ya’ writing?” She asked. “Um...” He bit his lip. “Just notes for me class.” He grumbled while putting away his notebook. “Alright Mi.” She said smiling 

The day went on as usual. He made sure to observe Alex. The boy had lashed out at his teacher today which had been unexpected and sudden. He’d gotten yelled at in response and phone call to his mum. He felt bad Alex’s mum had to deal with this. He could tell she had no idea what was going on with Alex. He needed to figure it out for himself and others around him. It had gotten to the point where he stayed up at night just thinking. 

“Mi!” Suki said. She snapped him from his trance. It’d been the end of the day. “Stop calling me that.” He grumbled. Only Alex was allowed to call him that. It made him angry she’d used such a nickname. “Sorry baby. Are we still on for later?” She asked. “Mhm.” He said nodding. He grabbed his black book bag and closed the locker. They began walking. There weren’t too many people in his highschool which was good. Suki was talking mindlessly which he didn’t particularly care too much about. 

“So let’s go to the park?” She suggested. He nodded. He was wearing something light today since it was nice outside. “Suki you’re into the Beatles raight?” He asked curiously. “Erm not really I’m more into pop.” She said smiling. Of course. He sighed. “That explains it.” He said laughing. Once they got to the park she set down a cloth. “I brought sandwiches too.” She said. He giggled. “Thanks love.” He accepted his sandwich which was wrapped in foil.

“So Miles I’ve been thinking lately...” She said. “Mhm?” He asked. “You don’t got a girlfriend right?” She asked shyly. Fuck. Miles wasn’t exactly really ready because of this whole Alex thing. He sighed. Should he let him go? He couldn’t. That was his best friend. Ex best friend. Miles it’s time to start romanticizing your life, he thought to himself. Well...maybe he should just...try it out? See where it’ll go. “Yeah but I’ve got someone in mind.” He said smirking. Her eyes lit up. “Really?!” She asked shaking his arm happily. “Mhm. Suki...d’ya want to maybe be me girlfriend...?” He asked running his hands through his hair. “Yes! Yes! A thousands times yes.” She said. “I was waitin’ for ya’ to ask Miles Kane.” She said smiling.

“Perfect.” He said wrapping his arm around her. She giggled. And with that she placed her lips against his. He’s kissed loads of times and didn’t really mind it. They continued to slowly kiss. Her lips had some type of chapstick flavoring. He broke it. They both sat there not knowing what to say. “Let’s eat?” She asked holding up and sandwich. Miles just laughed.

Suki and him eventually went home. Miles was ecstatic. He opened the door a bit too jumpy. He went into the kitchen to find his mum making dinner. He smiled at her. “What’s for dinner?” He asked her. “Chicken Alfredo.” She said smiling. “Do you need any help?” He asked. “Why are you so happy?” She asked laughing. “Nothing.” He said smiling. “Hmm...is it a girl?” She asked raising an eyebrow. She asked him this a lot hoping one day the answer would be yes. “Maybe.” He said shrugging. “Awww you little lady magnet!” She said chuckling. “What’s her name?” She asked. “Suki...” He said. “Are you two dating?” She asked. He nodded. “As of today I asked her to be me girlfriend.” 

“Hmmm...maybe you should bring her over sometime?” She suggested. “Yeah maybe!” He said smiling. He got up from his seat and went upstairs. The rest of the night he was ecstatic. He hadn’t told anyone yet. If Alex were still- no. Stop thinking about him. He doesn’t want anything to do with you. Miles was slowly accepting it, very slowly. 

The next day at school he came in feeling more confident. Suki ran up to him. She was wearing her usual uniform except her skirt was a little higher. He chuckled at the thought. They were at his locker. “Should we kiss?” She asked. He saw Alex from the corner of his eye just staring at him. “I dunno, should we?” He asked licking his lip. “God you smell amazin’. New aftershave?” She asked. “Maybe love.” He said laughing. She kissed him. And then again. A few people were staring. Alex looked a bit surprised. That’s the most amount of emotion he’d seen from him in about two months. He closed his locker and grabbed her hand.

Word spread fast. Everyone knew they were dating after about a week of a lot of PDA. Miles enjoyed the questions. Matt and him were the only ones with girlfriends. “So have you two done it yet?!” Jamie asked him. “No! We’ve only been dating for a week. Keep yer voice down will ya’?!” He said laughing. “Just asking. Make sure to use protection Kane.” He chuckled and hit Jamie’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you finally have a girlfriend. I knew you guys would date.” Nick said. “How did ya’ know?” He asked curiously. “Just knew.” He said shrugging. “Well I for one at very happy about our relationship.” 

He longed for Alex’s approval. He wanted to sit on his bed and talk about girls, music, life, basically anything. He missed his best friend so badly, everyone knew...well except Suki. He knows he’ll tell her just in good time. Miles loved Alex’s outlook on life. He’d always been so positive. He missed him so fucking badly it physically hurt. 

_Journal Entry 73  
Alex looked at me when Suki and I kissed a few days ago. I guess that’s a new emotion. I miss my best friend. I haven’t exactly gotten any clues but I just wish he’d talk to me. We used to do everything together, whether it was gossip, video games, homework, everything! I miss him so much. I mean what even happened to make him go from this cheery super bright boy to this sad kid. I just wish Alex would talk to me. It’s been too long. I’ve been having what I call Alex Withdraws. It’s hard seeing him like this and not being able to do anything about it. I reckon I should tell Suki sometime soon. She might understand. I mean could she though? She’s into pop. I laughed at that. Suki I guess just was the best to go too. The guys were tired of hearing about Alex. I missed my best friend more than anyone could know. I wonder if Suki’s ever lost a friend before, maybe even a friend as good as Alex. Hopefully she hasn’t. That would hurt. It’s like a hole was burned into my heart, it hasn’t gone away. Him and I were the best of friends. The closest pals. What could I have done? I know he said I didn’t do anything but I feel like I did. I just miss my best friend a fucking lot. _


	3. Girlfriends

Miles walked into the school building exhausted and tired. Teens rushed and ran all around him chatting. He fixed his tie and went to his locker. His collar was tight. He rubbed his neck, it was leaving a red mark so he unbuttoned it. You couldn’t even tell but he felt a lot better. He put his combination in and opened his locker. He took some books out. He saw Alex. His shirt was wrinkled and of course he looked miserable. His shirt wasn’t even tucked in. The dress code wasn’t THAT strict though. They probably wouldn’t call him out. 

He rested his head against the locker door. He understood how he felt. But Miles also been having a great week. Someone tapped his shoulder and he cursed loudly slightly jumping. It was Suki. Alex had looked over. He turned around. “Oh it’s you!” He said trying to calm down. “Don’t scare me like that.” He said breathing hard. “I’m sorry babe.” She said. “No...it’s fine.” He mumbled. “Suki c’mon!” She called. Her friend left. He was still breathing hard. Miles began coughing. He went digging through his bag for his inhaler. The bell had already rang. He started coughing louder. Tears filled his eyes. He was looking frantically. 

Alex had noticed Miles’ coughing fit. He’d been snapped from his haze and ran over. Miles hadn’t even noticed. He always kept an extra inhaler in his bag since they were younger. He found it. He grabbed Miles’ hand. He looked confused. He put it in his hand. He of course placed it to his mouth and pressed the button. Alex had accidentally placed his hand on his shoulder. He immediately retracted it. Miles’ coughing had died down. He gave him a water bottle. Miles murmured a thanks. Alex quickly walked away.

Miles stood there confused but decided to hurry to class. That doesn’t mean we’re friends though right? He thought to himself. Just because he did that for him didn’t mean he liked him. He probably didn’t want him to die. That had to be it. At least he doesn’t want me dead, Miles thought to himself. He went into class. “Mr. Kane you are late!” His teacher said sternly. “I jus’ had an asthma attack in the hallway.” He said showing her his inhaler. “Be more prepared-” She began so say. “I could’ve died!” He added cutting her off. She didn’t say anything. “Sit! Now.” He did with a smirk on his face.

He was hopeful Alex wanted to talk to him though. He went up to Alex after class. “Go away.” Alex grumbled. “I wanted t-to thank you- that’s it!” He said hastily. “I don’t need thanking. I don’t bloody like you. I just didn’t want you to I dunno die...or summat?” He said rolling his eyes. “But why Alexxxxxx. Why can’t we go back to how everything was before?” He said. “You look miserable.” He added. “Bugger off.” He grumbled before walking away from him. 

Miles was definitely hurt but he didn’t let it get to him. At least they spoke. He knew his best friend was still somewhere in there. He just didn’t understand why he was acting so hostile towards him. It was unbearable for him. He wanted to know why Alex was so angry. He was avoiding Suki all day, partly because of what happened earlier. How could she have been so careless? Miles had bad asthma! 

She ran up to him as he was walking home. He was cold since he only had on a hoodie over his uniform shirt. His tie was tucked in his pocket. He groaned. “Wha’s wrong Mi?” She asked. “Told you to stop callin’ me tha’!” He said loudly. “I’m sorry! I forgot...why are ya’ so mad?” She asked. “You could’ve fuckin’ killed me this mornin’!” He blurted out. He was angry at her being careless but more so angry at Alex. “Huh?” She asked bluntly. “I have asthma you caused me to have an asthma attack. I almost passed out!” He said upset. “Oh...Miles I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to.” She said sniffling. 

Why the fuck was she crying? He felt awkward and upset. “Look erm...don’t cry. I’m in a bad mood anyway.” He said kicking some leaves on the ground. “No I’m sorry Miles I didn’t mean it.” She said sniffling. “B-babe I know I’m sorry I yelled at ya’. ‘M just angry is all.” He said nodding. She sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her. “It’s okay,” He kissed the top of her head. He ran his fingers through her short blonde hair. Afterwards he intertwined their fingers and they began walking. They walked mostly in silence. 

“Miles there’s more to why your mad isn’t there?” She asked. He sighed and nodded. “Mhm.” He grumbled. “Tell me.” He bit his lip. Should he tell her all about Alex. “Come  
over to me place and we’ll talk?” He asked. She giggled. “I’d love that.” She said. They walked in mostly silence. When they arrived to Miles’ street she began talking mindless. His house was white, it was connected to a bunch more as well. He grabbed his key and went in. 

His mum wasn’t home. “Shoes off.” He murmured. They went into the kitchen. “Grab a snack.” He said smiling. She did. They both had granola bars. “Do ya’ have any crisps?” She asked politely. He pointed at the pantry. She got some out. After they ate Miles grabbed two water bottles and they went upstairs. He sat on his bed. “Wow...I love your room.” She mumbled. “Put on a record.” He said noticing she was near. His room was covered in posters. The Beatles, Paul Weller, Oasis. That was mostly it. He chuckled as the record began to play. It was Abbey Road. “How basic!” He said laughing. She giggled and sat down next to him. 

“I’m gonna change out of my uniform.” He mumbled. He pulled his shirt off. She was staring. Miles was very fit. She went over to him. “Wait don’t put it on.” She said lowering the extra shirt in his hands. He was confused.

She cupped the side of his face and kissed him. He didn’t mind. He just smiled. She kissed him again, a little deeper this time. They continued to slowly kiss. His mind was on other things but he was enjoying it. Stop thinking about Alex, he thought to himself. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and they began fully making out. He slid a hand slowly up her thigh and to her skirt. She giggled. He cupped her outer thigh as his hand went further up. It made its way to her rear. He climbed on top of her as she laid down and they continued kissing. 

Suki took her shirt off hastily. He moved his hand to her breast. He managed to unclasp her bra strap. A moan came from her lips. He touched them with his hands. She took his hand and guided it to her lady part. He massaged his hand against her before slipping it under her panties. He moved his hand up and down. He could feel the liquid leaking from her. She moaned. “Mmm Miles.” She said loudly. He began inserting and pulling his fingers out. She was moaning. “F-fuck your fingers...” She moaned. He’d managed to fit them all inside her. He pulled them out. He took her panties off. He fiddled with the belt of his pants. She was looking eager. She played with one of her breasts as she waited. He unclasped his belt. His pants had came off. And then his boxers. He got back on top of her. She connected their lips almost instantly. 

Miles was definitely hard. He touched himself a little before inserting his cock into her. She gasped. “F-fuck you’re so big.” She said once he was fully inside. She closed her eyes. She moaned as he began moving inside of her. “Miles that’s so good!” She moaned loudly. He lasted for about 5 minutes, he was good at what he did. He knew how to work his hips. She’d even came. 

Afterwards they both showered and laid in bed exhausted. “It’s only 5 pm...we should go downstairs.” He said. She groaned. “‘m tired.” She said. He sighed. He got up and outstretched a hand. She took it. They both went downstairs. He found his mum. “Oh! You have a girl over..” Miles smiled at her. “Hi I’m Miles’ girlfriend Suki.” She said shaking her hand. “Hi...oh he’s mentioned you. You’re so pretty!” She said to her. “It’s so great to meet you Mrs. Kane.” Suki said to her. “Please call me Pauline.” She said laughing. “Oh okay.” She said smiling.

They all ate dinner together. Suki and his mum got along well. He was glad, that’s another good thing. Though during dinner he couldn’t stop thinking about his interaction with Alex. He tried but Suki could tell something was up and his mum could too. “Miles what’s wrong? You haven’t said anything all evening?” His mum asked. “Nothin’ ‘m just tired...” He mumbled. He knew she didn’t believe him but he didn’t care. He was just thinking about what had happened with Alex.

After dinner he sat in his bed. Did Alex hate him? He could’ve sworn he’d even put a shoulder on his hand. What happened to his best friend? “Miles!” Eva said snapping him out of his thoughts. He looked up. “Yes?” He asked quietly. “What’s up with you?” She asked putting her hands on his shoulders and shaking them slightly. He sighed. “Y’know Alex?” He asked as she sat next to him. “Alex Turner?” She asked confused. “Yes what other Alex is there?!” He asked slightly ticked off. “Don’t yell at me.” She said upset. “‘M sorry ‘m sorry.” He said nodding. “We were best friends a-and now he just hates me.” He said. “Why?” She asked looking at him confused. 

“No clue. One Monday he jus’ was in ta’ bad mood and ‘hats been like that for months. No one had any idea why. He’s been such a bloody arse to me.” He said. “B-but today he helped me. H-he gave me, me inhaler and he erm...he put his hand on me shoulder for a second.” He said. “Miles...” She sighed. “I personally think he was just being nice. I don’t think...I don’t think he’s still not upset.”

“He just seems so upset lately.” She added. “Yeah...you’re right about tha’.” He said nodding. “Well...he’ll hopefully come around y’know. Especially if ya’ haven’t done nothin’.” She added. “Mhm...” He said quietly. She wrapped her arms around him. “Well babe I hav’ to go home. But thank ya’ so much for havin’ me over. Me and yer mum get along so well.” She said laughing. He smiled at her. She kissed him before grabbing her bag. “Stay safe.” 

After she left he began listening to a record. During it his mum came in. He turned the volume down and sat up. “Yes?” He asked. “She’s such a lovely girl.” His mum said sitting down. “Oh yeah she is!” He said nodding his head. “And you two are bein’ safe right?” His mum asked raising an eyebrow. “With what?” He asked confused. “I’m assuming you guys...are having sex...?” She suggested. “Mum Jesus!” He said upset. “Well are ya’?” She asked. “That’s none of yer business!” He cried out. She scoffed. “I am your mother! I just wanna make sure ya’ don’t ruin your future.” She cried out. “I’m not ‘avin sex wif’ her!” He cried out. She left after a little more arguing. 

Miles and Suki hadn’t had protected sex but he wasn’t worried. It was only one time so who even cared. It wasn’t anyone’s business either. He was worried about other things as well, like Alex.


	4. Matt’s room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone had commented that they were very mad about the sex scene and something about AM fans being the r slur? Some people in this fandom I swear to god. Anyways It’s just for character build up. There aren’t anymore straight graphic sex scenes. Anyways I hope you all enjoy.

Miles woke up groggily. His mom had been yelling at him for the past few minutes. “Mm awake.” He mumbled. It was Saturday, why the fuck was she waking him up so early. He groaned. “What?!” He called out rubbing the crust out of his eyes. “Get up! Now!” She said. She pulled on his arm. He hopped out of bed. He was only wearing boxers. “No! It’s Saturday.” He said blowing out his breath. He saw himself in the mirror. His hair was all over the place and he looked half dead.

“I need your help at the shop today! I told ya’ this last week. Be downstairs in 5.” She said. She then left. He groaned. He pulled on some clothes and went downstairs angrily. He met his mum in the kitchen. “Hate it here...” He mumbled under his breath. “What?” She asked. “Nothin’.” He scowled. She had no idea why he was being so rude this morning. “Cut that rude shit out.” She barked at him. He rolled his eyes. She smacked him on the back of his head. “Fuck off!” He yelled upset. 

He realized his mistake. Fuck. Her eyes were wide. She smacked him right across the face. He didn’t say anything. “Y’know what, I don’t need this shit today! Give me your phone and stay in ya’ fuckin’ room since you wanna act like this.” She said. He sighed and handed over his phone. He went upstairs without protest. He stayed in his room and mostly played guitar the rest of the day. He was glad he still had his laptop which he used to do some school work. He felt really bad about earlier. He’d been completely out of line. 

He’d been upset about Alex. It was taking a toll on his mental health very badly. What did he even do to deserve any of this shit? I mean what even happened? Was it something he said? Miles couldn’t even remember what had happened to Alex. Was it the party? No Alex had been having a lot of fun. So what was it? What turned his best friend into some mean monster. Alex had been the nicest boy he’d known. A memory appeared in his head as he was thinking. It was one of the many days they spent in Miles’ room.

_Rainy Day Flashback_

_“Mi I hate ta’ weather here!” Alex said upset. “Me too.” He grumbled. “It’s just like the Wirral.” He said back. “My Scouser husband.” Alex said batting his eyelashes. Miles shoved him as they both laughed. Miles was on his phone. Alex laid his head on his shoulder. “Yer hair is tickling me face.” Miles said shoving him off. Instead Alex laid his head in Miles lap. “Alex that’s so gay-” He began to say. Alex flipped him off. “Fuck off.” He said chuckling._

_Alex had fallen asleep on his lap. His hair was so fluffy Miles made sure he was asleep before running his hands through it. It was so soft to touch. He’d rarely gotten to play with Alex’s hair. He loved how it was straight and then curly at the ends. It was wavy it reminded him of the ocean almost. He found himself smiling at his brown luscious hair. He’d kill for Alex to grow it out. He stopped playing with it and went back on his phone. He only had one game on it, solitaire but didn’t mind. He’d gotten it for Christmas. Why’d you stop?” He mumbled. Miles felt frozen. His face went so red as he didn’t say anything. That’s was very embarrassing. Miles put his phone down in a bit of shock._

_Alex looked up at him. “Aww you look like a fokin’ tomato!” He said laughing. Miles rolled his eyes. “Fuck off.” He grumbled. “You thought I was sleepin’.” He said laughing harder. Miles’ breath went sharp. Alex had flipped over and his head was directly over his crotch as he kept moving himself back and forth while laughing. Alex finally called down. He got up and sat beside Miles who was still embarrassed. “I’m glad you care about me babe.” He said jokingly. “Don’t be gay.” He mumbled shoving him. Alex didn’t say anything. “And what’s wrong wif’ that?” He asked raising an eyebrow. Miles blew out his breath. “Nothin’ I just...I was jokin’.” He said. “Homophobe.” Alex said. Miles chuckled. Alex was trying to act as serious as possible but couldn’t. He bursted into laughing._

_Alex buried his head into the crook of Miles’ neck. Miles was very used to him being affectionate. He wasn’t really like this with his other friends as much as he was with Miles. The boy was very cuddly especially when drunk or high. “Milesssss let’s smoke some of your cannibis!” He said. “Alex! Me mum will smell it.” Miles said back. “C’mon. She won’t smell it if we go outside on your patio.” He suggested. “Fine Alex.” It had stopped raining anyways. Miles only half agreed to lessen the tension. Miles grabbed a lighter. He dug into his drawer as Alex practically jumped up and down. “Fuckin’ fien.” He said chuckling. They both went outside after Miles had grabbed the stuff. “You go first.” Alex said holding onto his shoulders._

_He put it in his mouth and worked the lighter. He inhaled sharply. He walked away as he began to cough. Miles did have asthma but he still smoked a lot anyways. Alex took the skunk and hit it. He didn’t cough instead he took two hits. “Fuckin’ lucky.” Miles mumbled. He laid against the wall and took another. They traded back and forth mindlessly. Until Alex was mumbling super incoherent things and wasn’t hitting anymore. “Let’s go inside.” He mumbled. He giggled as they did. “Miles shhh!” Alex said. That caused them to both giggle. They went into Miles’ room. “Miles your so tall and strong.” Alex said grabbing his arm. “Shut up!” Miles said laughing. “I’m only a few centimeters taller baby.”_

_“Baby?” Alex asked raising an eyebrow. “Shut up call everyone that.” He said ruffling his hair. Alex sat down. Miles sat across from him. Miles’ head was against the wall. Alex stared at him. “You have such a wonderful side profile...” Alex said. “Thanks babe.” Miles said. He giggled. “Miles I’m superrrrr colddddd.” Alex said. “What do you want me to do? There’s a blanket right there.” He said. “I hate you don’t ever talk to me again.” He said. They both bursted into laughter. Miles fell and ended up in between Alex’s legs which made them laugh harder. He buried his head into Alex’s chest. He could feel the vibrations of him laughing. Miles looked up at him. He stuck his tongue out. Alex giggled. “We’re too fokin’ high...” Miles said chuckling._

_Miles laid his head on Alex’s shoulder. “You realize this is mega gay right?” Alex asked him laughing. Alex couldn’t careless but Miles was always super worried about doing “gay shit”. “It’s not. You’re me bestie.” He murmured. “Okay.” Alex said laughing. “What about your other besties, do you lay in between their legs?” Alex asked. Miles was getting a little pissed. All this talk about being in between someone’s legs had almost made things start to wake up. He cursed himself for almost sporting a boner. Instead he thought of gross things like his gym teacher._

_“D’ya want me to kiss you or somethin’?” He asked slightly upset. Alex just laughed. “Exactly so shut up or I will. Since you wanna be treated like a gal so badly.” He said to Alex. “I don’t! I don’t.” He said back. Miles nestled closer into him. Alex just stared at his best friend. His eyes were closed now. “I can’t sleep!” He murmured. He accidentally licked Alex’s neck. “Miles! Jesus are ya’ tryna’ get in me pants?” Alex asked. “It was an accident. Don’t get yer knickers in a bunch.” Miles said hitting him slightly. “Shut up before I kiss you.” Alex mumbled. “What?!” Miles asked intrigued. “I didn’t say nowt.” He said back. “I heard you hush up.” Miles mumbled. They began talking about something random Alex had just thought of. Alex realized getting high was a slightly bad idea. This made Miles very touchy. He wasn’t uncomfortable at all he just didn’t want him to do anything he’d regret later._

_Miles was in between his legs and had shifted so their bulges were pressed against each other’s. Neither of them were hard obviously. Alex didn’t think Miles could even tell what was going on. “Yer dick is right on mine.” He cried out. Miles giggled. “No it’s not.” He hummed into his neck. “I can literally feel it!” Alex said. He was a little freaked out. He didn’t want this to happen that was for sure. “Ohhh that’s what that extremely small thing is against me.” He said. Alex’s jaw dropped. “You little shit!” He said climbing on top of him. They were now wrestling, Miles had won since he’d been taking lessons longer that Alex. Alex flipped him off. “It’s okay some are growers and not showers.” He said nodding at Alex. “Fuck off it’s not small.” He mumbled. “Average then?” Miles asked. “Why do you wanna know so bad?” He asked him. “Because ya’ know mine...” He mumbled. “I definitely don’t remember.” They’d been high that day as well._

_“6 and a half.” Miles said. “Yer lying.” Alex said. “No ‘m not.” He said shrugging. “What’s yours?” Miles asked. “I’m not telling you.” He mumbled. “C’mon Turnerrrrr.” He said pressing his head against Alex’s neck. Alex giggled. “Stop. I hate ya’.” He said shoving him. “Just tell me. How big is your ween?” They both bursted out laughing. “I fuckin’ hate ya’.” He said back. “Fine 7.3.” He mumbled. “Turner your such a liar.” He said upset. “I’m not. You wanna see?” He asked. “God no!” Miles said laughing. Alex rolled his eyes. “And plus that’s such a strange thing to lie about.” He said shrugging. “Your 5 at best.” Miles said. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Alex said shrugging. “Stop ‘m not gay.” He said harshly back. “You’re definitely not acting like it.” He said shrugging._

Miles shook the memory from his head. He missed his best friend so much. He heard someone come in. He’d noticed it was dark out. How long had he sat there?! “Miles get dressed.” His mum huffed. He stood up. “I’m...I’m very sorry about before.” He said. “It’s fine. Put yer nice clothes on, remember we have dinner at the Helders.” 

Ohhh. He’d almost forgotten! His mum had some type of school board meeting there. She was apart of the PTA. He put a white button down on and some dress pants. He looked presentable. He went downstairs. “You look very handsome.” She said smiling. “Here grab a snack and let’s go.” She said getting her laptop case. He grabbed a pack of cookies. He went in the car and they began listening to Bowie. His mum was the reason he was into guitar and rock. He finished the cookies before they got to Matt’s house. 

He got out. When they arrived Matt’s dad greeted them and they went inside. They found multiple teens with their mums. There were about 14 pairs of parents. His mum was greeting them all. That’s when he met his eye. Alex. He was with his parents. He definitely looked like he didn’t wanna be here. He looked presentable though. They all sat down. There were designated spots. He was next to Nick’s family sadly not next to Alex. The dinner went well the parents talked a lot. All the teens just stayed quiet and were eventually excused to go upstairs. 

Most of the boys were in front. It was Matt, Nick, a kid named Thomas, someone named Landon, him, and then Alex. He was in the back near Alex. They made it to the top. “My mum wants us in here alright?” Matt said. “Basement is of limits because of reconstruction sorry.” They all began going in Matt’s room except Alex. “Alex c’mon.” Alex shook his head back and forth. “M not going in there.” He mumbled. “Alex stop being difficult.” Nick said. “I said I’m not goin’ in there.” He said again. “Why?” Nick asked upset. Alex didn’t give a reason. “Look guys I’ll talk to him.” I said to them. They all went into Matt’s room. “Alex look I know you hate me and all which oh well I didn’t do anythin’...but c’mon do this for our parents please? This is very important to them.” He said. 

“I’m not ever going in there!” He could see Alex was hurting. His eyes had water in them. “Alex what’s wrong?” He asked. He shook his head side to side. “I mean this whole thing is insane. You stopped talking to all of us, me importantly for some reason and can’t even tell me why. I didn’t even do anythin’ to ya’ except be a good friend.” Miles said. “Shut up.” Alex said upset. “It’s the facts. Face them Alex. Ya’ shut me out for no good fokin’ reason. We were such good friends and ya’ stopped talking to me.” He said. “If y-you’re my best friend, then why couldn’t you protect me?!” The words had just slipped out. He could tell Alex hadn’t meant that. “Alex wha-” He began to say. “Nothin’ I didn’t mean that.” He mumbled. He quickly went into Matt’s room. Miles followed.

“Ya’ talked some sense into ‘im.” Matt said. Miles shrugged. They were all talking. Miles observed Alex. His leg was shaking. He kept looking around as if something was gonna pop out. He was pulling at his hair. What the fuck happened in this room? He’d never acted like this in Matt’s room before. He had no idea why Alex was acting like this. Eventually they got called downstairs. Alex seemed very grateful to get out of that room.

Miles could barely sleep that night. What even happened?


End file.
